The Guitarist's Elysium

Surgery Agony

2009-05-21T21:21:00.002+08:00

Just got home from surgery. In case, you don't know why I have to go through another round of surgery, here's why. My previous surgery caused one of my nerves to get damaged. This surgery is meant to numb that damaged nerve. Anyway, my back aches terribly since the surgery ended. Let me recount the whole experience to you.

Before the surgery, I was really excited. I thought immediately after the surgery, there would no longer be pain. Never did I expect the opposite.

Anyway, after I was wheeled to the Operating Theater on those mobile hospital beds, I had to shift myself to a bed next to the one I was on. This is so the surgery can commence. However, I had to change my position. On the former bed, I was lying on my back. On the latter, I had to lie on my front. And because I was dressed in the hospital robe, the process of moving to the next bed and changing position became really awkward. I was afraid of exposing myself (which I did! Laughs!) in front of the female nurses. Oh man! I was really embarrassed.

Let's move on.. Haha. Following that, 3 pillows were placed under my chin, chest and hip area to help me feel comfortable. But with a pillow under your chin for an hour and a half, it didn't really help very much. On the contrary, it made my neck really aching.

Soon, 2 tiny bottles of liquid painkiller were dripped into this mechanism (that is commonly used to link the drip) on my hand. It made me drowsy but I had to be kept awake as the doctor needs to know my responses for every injection that he made. I had trouble keeping awake but the pain from the injection kept me awake. I was injected at least 9 times, from the neck all the way to my upper back. Thank God only 2 were killer jabs. The first and the last. Those 2 were really excruciating but thank God I managed to endure the pain. That 2 jabs felt like my flesh was being tore open by a saw. It felt really awful. But I didn't scream.. Tough eh! Haha.. Just kidding. But!! That was not the end of my agony. For every jab, the doctor pressed really hard on it (and yes! even on the 2 excruciating jabs). Can you imagine!?!?! After a jab, then finger pressure on the wound. Ultimate Torture I tell you!

Still, that was not the worse. The worse was that ultimate torture on my neck. Already my neck was aching like crazy from the pillow under my chin, then come 4 jabs on my neck with the power finger pressure on them. I seriously thought that my neck was gonna break anytime.

Finally after a long while, the surgery ended. The nurses then cleansed my back and neck with some iodine lookalike solution. It was really cold. Next, they then sprayed a super freezing chemical on my back that made me shiver for the next 20 minutes!!IT WAS TORTURE AFTER TORTURE I TELL YOU!!! Thereafter, I was shifted back to my former bed, on my initial lying position and wheeled to a ward for rest. I was then given 2 blankets and a machine which produces warm air to warm me up because I was still shivering! My neck and back were also super aching and painful by then.

Oh ya, one more thing that I forgot to mention. At the start of the surgery, a cooling pad was taped round the hairiest part of my leg. Then at the end of the surgery, it was removed. Hard. Ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you know!!!!!!!!!!!!! But thank God, the nurses forewarned me first and they tore the tape as quick as they could to mininise my pain.

Then when I thought this should be final, the doctor presented me with yet another piece of horror news. He said that I'm gonna experience more pain for the next 3-5 days. After that, the pain should reduce to a level more tolerable. But he can't promise any cure.

All in all, I experienced so many kinds of pain today and this week. 5 different types of physically pain plus a special freezing torture, mental pain and emotional pain.

But I'm gonna trust God to heal me in all these pain completely!!!

Oh I would also like to take this time to thank Dr. Nicholas for being an understanding, caring and friendly doctor. Additionally, I want to thank all the other surgeons and nurses for their care and concern for my welfare, their hospitality to make me feel as comfortable as possible, their smiles, politeness and patience in tending to me.

Oh before I end, pray for me for a complete recovery for those who read this post. Thanks a lot!

The Misunderstood Genre

2009-03-25T01:01:00.006+08:00

I think many people have wronged the metal genre by ALWAYS saying it is satanic. No doubt, some bands have used it to promote satanism. However, by stating that metal is a satanic genre is definitely generalising.

There are many bands who have used metal to write songs on many other topics. It is one of the few genres which allow you to do that. The other possible and related genre is rock and possibly country. There are many topics that I have came across - war, fantasy, personal struggle, politics, social problems, christian/religious/inspirational, love and much more. This is why I enjoy the metal genre so much. It extends my views and mindset on many things, and not forgetting that the musicians are usually very proficient in their instruments.

Let me cite some examples.

War

Paschendale - Iron Maiden
The Trooper - Iron Maiden
Aces High - Iron Maiden

Bible story

Creeping Death - Metallica (describes the Plague of the Firstborn)
Shadow of Deth - Megadeth (from Psalm 23)

Fantasy

The Final Sacrifice - Avantasia
Fullmoon - Sonata Arctica
Enter Sandman - Metallica
Thor (The Powerhead) - Manowar

Personal Struggle

In Flames - Touch Of Red
In Flames - Suburban Me
Paranoid - Black Sabbath

Politics

Megadeth - Peace Sells

Pleasure

Living after Midnight - Judas Priest

Insomnia

Insomnia - Megadeth

Animal Extinction

Countdown to Extinction - Megadeth

The unkind mankind

2009-02-24T02:56:00.003+08:00

Lord,

I feel so pessimistic about the world and its evil inhabitants today.

Their selfish actions disgust me a lot.

People, I meet, gets darker and darker by the day. Even your people Lord. Even them.

They live for nobody but themselves.

I don't want to live another day to see this. But Lord, because you didn't give up on them, I shouldn't.

Happy happy New Year.. Fa ya Fa da Chai..

2009-01-20T20:52:00.004+08:00

Chinese new year is just around the corner now so I thought I should blog.. haha

As usual, to welcome the Chinese New Year, many people would be buying new stuff (i.e. new clothes, new phones, bag etc). So I though I should just make a new post.

Other than that, the only newest thing I bought is my PT kit. Complete set. New New Balance Running shoes, new Signal Formation singlet and the black army shorts. Sad but I have only enough credits for that. I will probably buy a new No. 3 jacket with my credit later haha.

Anyway, for this month, times have been hard now. Everyday, it's filled with work to the max that I can hardly rest. My superior aren't helping too. Instead they are getting emo. Don't really know what happened but they seem to have something against me. Either that or their menses are coming.

The single greatest challenge for a course clerk is also here now which makes my work even tougher. It is to plan, co-ordinate and facilitate an overseas training trip for the Officer Cadets. So many things to do and so little information to start with. But well, I'm not stressed out over it because I know that God is taking charge.

I'm now reading the book of 1 Samuel and I completely identify with David. Just as Saul was trying to kill David, my superior seems to be drilling me. Work is already up to my neck each day and instead of helping, she keeps putting me down. And it stings hard! However, David taught me to be gracious to them and not be vengeful. The Lord protects His people and will avenge His people in His time and way. In chapter 24, even when Saul was after David, when David was given an opportunity to strike, he honoured his superior and refuse to kill Saul. The Lord then softened Saul's heart and allowed David to remain unharmed.

The Hand of God

2008-11-23T21:06:00.002+08:00

It seems like the floodgate of blessing is wide open. I have been experiencing many blessings and answered prayer from God, in small and big things alike.

Even though my encounters in camp were not very good, God really shine in these situations.

In just one day, I experienced 3 blessings from God. I remember when I was on the way to camp, it was raining. I prayed that the rain will stop when I reach camp, and the rain stopped before I reached camp! I pray also that I won't be late because of the rain, and I reached camp early.

On the same day, my upper study told me to accomplish a huge task at 2pm when we would be dismissed at 5pm. He didn't explain much to me what to do too. At that time, I was very irritated by his irresponsible action, but I took some time to pray and asked God for help.

Sure enough, God heard the prayer and extended his hand to help me. He helped me to plan well and also send another person to help me. Funnily, God also made my upper study help me. And everything was completed before 5pm. Praise God!!

Musician Galore

2008-11-15T11:42:00.008+08:00

It's been 3 weeks in camp now and I'm gonna say I'm not making many good memories there. Too much details to type down so just know that my days there were quite unpleasant.

However, God never fails to light up my days in small ways. After 3 weeks of "duty" there, I realised there is another musician with the same influence as me in the office. He draws as well!

I really admire him. He was in a band at the age of 14 with 10 years of classical music background, much like my guitar hero, the late Randy Rhoads. He is now 22 years old and his band has composed and recorded countless originals. Of course, they spent a over $10k for that.

Like wow! I would love to see myself like him [Or better haha] in 9 years time with ReDagger.

Anyway, I finally got to take a couple of shots of my newest guitar - the Dean Dime Razorback V.

I love the sound and the looks of it. But I think I won't be able to use it IF I were to play for service. Here it is!

The guitar and the case

My Double Vs

The Bs with his Vs

2008-11-10T19:32:00.002+08:00

I think the world is filled with weird people these days.

Just a few days ago, I was on a bus. This guy, in his early 30s, sitting near me started to sing aloud while listening to his mp3. He has a terrible voice and he sang a line over and over again. That line was wo chui ai de ren [my beloved].

I really wanted to shut him up! But being a nice christian, I just donned on my noise-cancelling earphones and switched on my mp3 to avoid hearing his ear-drum busting vocals.

Upon reaching my stop, I aligned and took another bus. But I tell you, I had another similar encounter. Another guy, in his late 40s, sat in front of me. This time, he was commenting aloud while watching the news on TVmobile. I clearly remembered that while the news was screening a riot from Taiwan or China, he was commenting "fight! fight! Useless la". He then continued giving his comment loudly while TVmobile showed other news.

I was about to die!
I was thinking WTH! why are there so many retarded people nowadays.

But thank God I had my trusty noise-cancelling earphones and some power metal songs to block them off.

I really can't fathom. Maybe it's stress.

Fast update

2008-11-06T20:22:00.002+08:00

I'm gonna sleep in 5 mins time so I have to hurry.

I realised I didn't state my post and stuff. I'm a clerk, or what they call an ASA, in stagmont camp. Life there has been quite slack so far because my superior hasn't been in the office all the time. She's out for official businesses and that means I have no work haha. She usually appoints work for me to do.

Now all the way till I ORD, I have to sleep at 8.30pm and wake up at about 4.45am. It really suck because I used to sleep at 4am and wake up at about 2 or 3pm. But at least, now I'm able to sleep on my own comfy bed. It's gonna last for the next 11 months.

11 more months to ORD!!! Yay!!

1st day in Camp

2008-11-04T19:49:00.003+08:00

Just came back from camp not too long ago. It's really tiring. Though I didn't do much, just waiting for time to get by is already so draining.

Anyway, really thank God that my first day was good. For some reason, my superior likes me. She says I'm nice haha. My former warrant officer put in some good words for me too. He said I'm well-behaved and hardworking. I don't know how true is that but thank God that he gave some good comments. But now, my superior's expectation is really high and I need to live up to that standard, even though I haven't started on anything. In any case, at least I left her a good first impression.

The people are funny and entertaining too. They didn't mind I was on 9 months MC and gladly taught me things that I need to know. Thank God for that as well.

By God's grace, I'm gonna be the best soldier there.

Pray for me to have a bigger burden for people! I'm gonna smash 18!

This is as much as I can type now. I'm really sleepy. I have to wake up at 4.30am tomorrow.

Back to camp.. Back to square..

2008-11-02T23:01:00.006+08:00

I'll be going back to camp in 2 days.

I'm looking forward to it but definitely not in the best of moods to welcome it. I'm sure there will be many headaches and "shit" coming my way in due time. By then, I'm sure God has a solution at hand, just waiting for me to accept it.

Anyway, it has been a wonderful 9 months. This is probably be the longest paid vacation I will ever have in my life, minus all the pains. I have heightened my skill and knowledge level in guitar, planned my life for the next 10 year, watched many animes, reorganised many of my audio files, got involved in a leadership camp, refreshed a skill that I've acquired a long time ago, got rid of an irritating condition, became a midnight ghost [Haha] through countless late nights, found back my conviction and inspiration to compose, arrange and write songs etc etc. These are just the tip of the iceberg.

Now that I blog them down, it seems like I was given a sabbatical by the SAF. haha.

My camp from Geovision - Stagmont Camp.

Alright, Christmas is due in about 7 weeks and I'm really glad that I'm involved in Smash18. A soul-saving mission by the TNSb1 combatants of Christ to rescue at least 18 victims of the diabolic serpent.

Please pray for the pain in my chest to quickly leave me so that I wouldn't be a status personnel in this mission. Thank You!

Compositions

2008-10-30T01:23:00.012+08:00

Today, out of boredom and some inspiration, I took some time out to compose a power ballad on GuitarPro and also finished writing a song which I previous wrote but didn't complete.

The song that I composed is still in construction. I'm only done with the first part. I've sent to a couple of people and have received both good and bad feedback. The more I listened to it, the more I like it Haha. If you want, I can send you the song.

Here is the score to the rhythm part of the song, played on the classical guitar or piano.

This is the lead guitar part to the song.

Alright, here's the other song that I wrote. As usual, it's a rock song. It's about personal struggle and pride. Well.. any other interpretation is possible and is entirely up to you. It's entitled Blood of a Savior.

Verse 1
A pure and sincere relationship
was what you promised
Frustration and brokenness
were never meant to be
But the lies in between
pull me away from you
In every unbelief,
I fall away

Chorus 1
Blood of a Savior
Wash over me
Banish this wretched tyranny
that composed the other me

Before I'm torn apart
Pull me far from this misery
Fall unto embracing arms
Back into blessed eternity

Verse 2
Time and again the best of your world
that I seek,
I'm unable to grasp it
within my reach
Even though I try
Even though I struggle
On my own
It's in vain

Chorus 2
Blood of a Savior
Wash over me
Banish this lofty self
that depress the other me

Before I'm lose myself
Pull me far from this rivalry
Fall unto embracing arms
Back into blessed eternity

Bridge
So strengthen me
Negativity surrounds while
Righteousness beseeches
It's too hard to hold on
But I'm too scared to let go

This is just the words to the song. The melody and arrangement haven't been done [Or even started] yet.

You can drop your comments at the tag board.

Enduring sufferance is the price of wisdom

2008-10-27T23:29:00.005+08:00

Bad news keep coming my way.

The day before yesterday, I found my palms still sweating even after the surgery. I thought that the room was just warm so I left it at that.

But yesterday, it was still sweating.. BANG! That's the first strike.

Today, I could still feel the sweat on my palms and the pain on my surgical wounds was suddenly aggravated for some unknown reason. I was left to endure the pain the whole day. BANG! Strike Two and Three.

I doubt I can and want to go through another agonizing surgery.

Anyway, I was talking to a brother and he shared some light to me. I told him about my condition and he shared that enduring sufferance is the price of wisdom.

We can't control our suffering but by knowing the Truth, or have wisdom for that matter, though doesn't change anything that's happening, guides our choices. However, wisdom can only be attained by enduring hardship.

And so, he said if indeed your sufferance does not cease, may you gain wisdom from it.

Hopefully, I can obtain some wisdom for this sufferance.

The Alpha Post

2008-10-26T21:54:00.003+08:00

Hey all, this is my new blog.

I can no longer stand the rubbish URL from my old blog (Laughs!) so I'm through with it.

Anyway, that old blog URL was created when I was in high school. I was a young punk trying to act cool and stuff. It's bringing me embarrassment nowadays when I tell another that blog address. It's www.deadlyclub.blogspot.com if you want to read my past entries. [Now I said it! It's a rubbish title].

Ok. This new one is gonna sound weird to many people. But I have 2 Bs in my name and I like Flying Vs. I have 2 flying Vs too. Hence, the URL for this blog. I actually brainstormed for awhile for the URL; like withthedoubleB.blogspot.com, JoDoubleB.blogspot.com but I felt that theBsandtheVs described me better.

On the final note, this blog has little difference from it's predecessor, apart from the blogskin and some minor additions. The additions are too minor to notice too unless you take deliberate effort to compare and stuff. No prize for getting it right though so don't waste time doing that haha.